


You belong with me

by MangaBitch



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 2P America (Hetalia), Acts of Kindness, Adulthood, Adults, Affection, America Being an Idiot (Hetalia), Anger, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Arguing, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Germany (Hetalia), Awkwardness, Best Friends, Bisexual Female Character, Blankets, Blushing, Brother-Sister Relationships, Carrying, Claiming Bites, Conflict, Confrontations, Confusion, Crushes, Crying, Curiosity, Cute, Dating, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Desperation, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drinking to Cope, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Escape, Exes, F/F, Falling In Love, Fear, Feelings, Feels, Female Friendship, Female Homosexuality, Fights, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Frustration, Gay, Gay Panic, Gentle Kissing, Girls Kissing, Guilt, Happy Ending, Heart-to-Heart, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hiding, Hugs, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Ice Cream, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Inner Dialogue, Internal Conflict, Jealousy, Kindness, Kissing, Lesbian Character, Letters, Lies, Love, Love Bites, Love Confessions, Making Out, Making Up, Mentioned Japan (Hetalia), Mentioned North Italy (Hetalia), Mentioned Prussia (Hetalia), Mentioned South Italy (Hetalia), Minor America/Russia (Hetalia), Minor Injuries, Mistakes, Moving Out, Nyotalia America (Hetalia), Oblivious, Past Relationship(s), People Watching, Pining, Protective Russia (Hetalia), Protectiveness, Public Display of Affection, Rage, Reader-Insert, Requited Love, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rumors, Running Away, Scents & Smells, Secret Crush, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Pity, Self-Reflection, Sexual Tension, Shock & Awe, Shyness, Sister-Sister Relationship, Smoking, Sneakiness, Sneaking Around, Sobbing, Social Media, Sulking, Surprise Kissing, Swearing, Tears, Teasing, Teenagers, Texting, Top Canada (Hetalia), Trust Issues, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Watching, Worry, You Have Been Warned, Yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2020-10-28 07:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaBitch/pseuds/MangaBitch
Summary: You had been hurt before, your heart broken into pieces. The love of your life betrayed you and left you behind with nothing but painful memories. Despite how much they claimed to love you, you were scared to let them in.





	1. I can't lose you

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who has ever had their heart broken

(Y/N) curled up in a ball bitterly, mumbling curses and angry rants under your breath in hopes of appeasing your bad mood. You had been in such a good mood this morning and now you were in a clusterfuck mess of emotions. You didn't see this happening to you when you woke up this morning and now you wish you could go back and make sure you avoided it altogether. You were currently hiding from your best friend Amelia, desperately locating yourself in a place she would never be able to find you. You and Amelia have been friends for a long time, practically inseparable from one another. Since the day you had met each other you were rarely seen apart from one another, she was your close confidant, your better half. You loved her to pieces and you told each other everything. Well so you thought anyway, but recently you had started to avoid her, keeping your distance intentionally until this mess all blew over. 

You know that mushy plotline in every movie where two best friends fall in love with each other and everything was supposed to be magical. Yeah, that sort of thing had never happened to you. You ended up with a rotten apple instead of the happiness everyone else got. You fell under the spell of an evil witch instead of finding that happy ending everyone dreamed of. She lured you in and tricked you into a false sense of security and then left you. The magical fairy tale ending had been tempted to you and then proven to be fake all along. But luckily you had a best friend to help you back out of that mess, until you found yourself in a new one entirely. Life really seemed to enjoy screwing you over consistently. 

God what you wish that you brought your earbuds so you could have been listening to music, yes you would have gotten into trouble with a teacher but so what? It would be worth it to be none the wiser about the conversation you overheard. Rumours amongst classmates was not uncommon, you found it everywhere you went, it was ingrained into society. But you had heard around from college classmates that Amelia had a crush on you. Though people joked about you being a couple all the time, something you were long since used to. You really just believed they were kidding, but you later learned that in fact it was true. You tried to laugh it off at first, not trying to take it seriously and just forget about it like nothing had changed. But the longer you left it, the worse it got, stewing away at the back of your mind like a slow burning fire until it grew out of control. You wondered how long she had been holding these feelings for you, when her crush on you had started and for what reason she had never told you about her crush. 

You couldn't act normal around her, you couldn't help but wonder if small miniscule things friends did together somehow meant more to her. The stupid things that you notice more about someone when you have a crush on them. It only made you feel worse inside, like a poisonous leech feeding on your insecurities. You want to love her, you wanted to return her feelings more than anything. But you didn't want to ruin everything, you were so happy together, you were platonic soulmates and did everything together. But most of all, you knew you wouldn't be able handle being hurt all over again. Remembering how happy you had been back then and how easily everything had been torn from under your feet. You had once loved your (Ex GF/Crushes name) so deeply you thought you were soulmates. You seemed perfect for each other, like it was fate for you to have met. But then they betrayed you, ripping out your beating heart and stomping it under their heel. They broke your heart, they betrayed your love to them. They took advantage of your feelings and trust, taking away a piece from you as they did so. They selfishly broke you and while they went on with their life, they left you scared to love. No matter whom swayed your feelings, whom became the new object of your affections, the past trauma of hurt made you afraid to open up to someone else ever again.

You had cried over every small thing, somehow they were all you could think about. Asking why it happened, why they did that to you, how they could do that. Questioning everything and even unable to go through the day without spacing out. But Amelia had been right by your side the whole way, distracting your misery and making you smile again. Without her you would have been a mess, so how could she betray you like this? How could she have fallen in love with you and make you feel so confused all over again. You wanted to be mad at her, but you couldn't. You were mad that everything felt ruined now. 

Amelia was honestly the most wonderful girl you had ever met, like a dream could true. Which is what scared you, when a person seemed too good to be true they often were in your case. She was protective, enthusiastic and optimistic, forever looking out for you, always eager to try new things and always looking on the bright side. But she had a habit of being naive and dealing with her problems using violence and honestly her hot-headed temper often got her into trouble. But she was still your best friend, you knew that she was harmless and a total softy underneath it all. She was one of the most popular girls in school, she was able to befriend anyone she came into contact with, that or get into a heated rivalry due to her sometimes obnoxious attitude or lack of self aware. But you still cared about her, she was really important to you. You would rather stay friends and allow your heart to heal, you wouldn't allow yourself to love Amelia and fall into another heartache. 

She never let you feel alone or insecure, she always stood up for you when others tried to harass you. She was always trying to find buddy activities for you to go together, if you couldn't come she would tell you all about it afterwards. However, you would always tease her when she was clueless or when she got too carried away, but it was always in good fun. Amelia didn't have a bad bone in her body, her personality just clashed with others is all. But she never let her popularity get the better of her, she was never one of those bitchy girls. But that was something you had always admired about her. Which made you feel worse about hiding. 

But you couldn't sit out here forever, you had to move sometime. When you were sure it was safe and you didn't have to hide anymore, you tried to sneak out inconspicuously. Wanting to remain as quiet as possible as to not get caught, that way you could avoid any awkward confrontations about questions you would rather avoid. But most of all so you wouldn't run into Amelia, you just wanted to go home and forget. Wait this out until people stopped gossiping about it. Deep down, you knew you could be happy with Amelia, she would treat you like a princess. But you couldn't risk it, you didn't want to fall in love only for your heart to be broken all over again.

It was better this way, it was safer this way. Things staying the way they always had, just the two of you against the world and being besties. Purely platonic and it would stay that way no matter what. Romance was out of the question and it had to stay that way. Falling in love with each other would be a mistake and only end badly for you in the long run, you didn't think your heart could handle it a second time around. The consequences were not an option. 

You were so sure you would get away, until a familiar voice broke the silence. "(Y/N) there you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Amelia called in relief. You were really good at playing hide and seek. You must have practice at sneaking around so nobody found you, it took hours for her to find your hiding place. She had been tempted to ask England, Japan and even Germany to help find you, she had thought of every possible place you could be until she finally found you. She sure didn't want to play this game again any time soon. 

You panicked, your body instantly turning rigid like an animal being hunted by a predator. Like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck, the fear welling up inside of you. You peaked out of the corner of your eye to see the worry in her big blue orbs. She knew you had been you'd been avoiding her and you could see the hurt on her face. You shifted awkwardly under her gaze, guilt welling up inside of you. You swallowed nervously, mustering up the courage to find your voice "Sorry Amelia I... I gotta go" you babbled anxiously. You really just wanted to forget about this whole thing, you wouldn't risk your friendship over a stupid crush. She meant too much to you to lose, she had helped you heal after your ex, which you were so grateful for.

You could laugh this whole situation off later, lie about the whole thing. Say it was a prank or something bad had been going and you needed time alone. Anything but the truth about you knowing she was in love with you. You just couldn't accept that. Hell, part of you was sure this was a crazy dream and you had fallen asleep and you would soon wake up. This just couldn't be happening to you, it just couldn't, nothing good ever happened to you when it came to love. 

Amelia worried expression turned to a pained one, hurt now showing more blatantly. Why were you acting so weird, why were you pushing her away like this so suddenly? It made no sense at all. What did she do wrong to make you hate her so much? Why wouldn't you talk to her? Weren't you supposed to be best friends? They told each other everything. She hated to use force for any reason at all, but you wouldn't talk to her any other way. She gripped her hands into balled fists. "Damn it (Y/N), talk to me! Why are you avoiding me? Don't lie, I'm not stupid. Tell me the truth! she demanded her voice filled with pained anger. You used to be so close, always together no matter what. But lately you'd been acting so cold and sulky towards her, she didn't understand what caused the abrupt shift in your personality. 

You stiffened, the walls you put up now shattering under your feet like glass. The emotions you held back so bravely now pooling out like a tidal wave upon the sand. Tears welling up in pools, your eyes now carrying the reflection like glass. Why did this have to happen again? Wasn't once already bad enough? "I heard... classmates. You... you love me" you babbled in a broken voice. Trying so hard to hide the fact that you were crying. You had tried to hard to be brave, to hide, to ignore it all but you couldn't anymore. 

Amelia blushed, her cheeks darkening like a strawberry. How did you find out about that? Prussia or France must have been gossiping again, she was going to kill them for this. "Shit..." she cursed under her breath. She had wanted to tell you how she felt for so long, not for you to find out like this. But she couldn't do anything about it now, she had to face the music. She took a deep breath "I know your ex hurt you (Y/N). It's hard to love someone again when you've had your heart broken by someone else. But I was there when you were broken, it's my job as the heroine to save you, right? So I thought hiding my feelings until you were ready would be best. But all I did was push you away".

She remembered how you couldn't stop crying for weeks, anything would set you off into uncontrolled sobs. How every little thing reminded you of them, how you spaced out. How your eyes were so dead, empty and full of sadness. She remembered it all and how much it hurt to see you like that, how long it took to bring back a smile to your face. Because she had been right by your side, hating to see the girl she loved feeling like that because of someone else. 

You felt your cheeks heat with embarrassment, Amelia really cared about you. The sincere tenderness in her voice said it all, those big blue eyes of hers were so full of love for you. She was such a kind person sometimes it hurt. You knew Amelia was the girl who would make you smile and laugh. "B... But I.... I don't know... I'm scared... you're my best friend Amelia. If.. If I lose you... I'll lose my best friend, not just my girlfriend" you sniffed tearfully. You didn't know where this road would lead and you worried it would end badly for you both. 

Amelia softened, now it all made sense. Now she understood why you had tried to run away from her, she loosened her grip on you. "(Y/N) look at me" she replied her tone nearly begging you. She wanted you to feel safe, the only thing she had ever wanted was for you to be happy again. She knew she could be that person. Yes, she was your best friend which is why she knew you best of all, why you were perfect for each other. 

You hesitated, before turning to look her in the face, stunned when she pulled you into an abrupt bear hug. Pressing your face into her chest so you couldn't see the uncool facial expression she was making. She had never been good at this sort of mushy stuff, but she had never cared about another person like she had you before. "I'm no good at romance, mushy stuff isn't my forte. But whenever I see you laugh or smile, my brain turns to mush. When you started to avoid me, I went crazy worrying about you. I dunno... I just... shit I sound so uncool".

God, if you hadn't been blushing already. You swore despite being outside it suddenly felt much warmer than it did before. You'd never seen Amelia act this uncool around anyone before, it was admittedly pretty adorable. Seeing her all flustered and embarrassed, you couldn't help but start to smile. A small laugh escaping your lips. You nuzzled affectionately against her, the scent of her lynx deodorant and hot dogs on her. She had always preferred men's deodorant. "We were both stupid, but at least we have no secrets now" you chuckled.

Amelia sighed and smiled bashfully, she had to agree there. Honestly it had been so long since you were together like this, she had missed it like crazy. But it felt so right holding you in her arms like this. "Stupid in love" she mumbled. The two of you stood there together, just hugging. Your arms wrapped tightly around each other as if letting go would suddenly cause you to spontaneously combust or something crazy like that. Amelia didn't know what to do with herself, she was pouting but happier than she had been in a long time. You were still crying a little, you couldn't help it. There were so many emotions running through you right now, it was hard to handle. But you knew one thing, you were happy and it was getting harder not to laugh. 


	2. Melting this frozen heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader falls for Belarus, warming her cold heart, but fears that Natalya would be happier with America than her

(Y/N) lay silently on your bed, staring into the oblivion of the heartache filling you, trying to numb out the pain but no matter what you did. She was all you could think about, after all the more something was out of reach, the more you wanted it. In an attempt to get over your feelings for the blonde, you had blocked her on all forms of communication, trying to hide from anything that could remind you of her. Feeling so stupid and ashamed for using such childish methods to keep her away from you.

But you knew this was the best way, to stop you from hurting like this. You could breathe, grow, go through the natural healing process. If you stayed around her it would only add to the heartache that you were currently suffering from. No good ever came from following around someone you couldn't have. It wasn't healthy and you knew it. It would lead to less pining and unhealthy coping mechanisms, you needed personal space to sulk and get out your feelings. Accepting your sadness rather than let toxic actions swallow you up and make you bitter. 

Though you never saw it coming, never dreamed you would feel this way about her, you had fallen in love with Natalya the incarnation of Belarus and the younger sister of Russia. Of course of all the women in the world you fell for the one who would end up breaking your heart. Natalya had always been a strange girl, you knew that from the start. But under the cold facade, she was in fact a secretly sweet and protecting woman who solely dealt with social anxiety and was simply hard to understand. Over time, after warming up to you she became fiercely protective. She looked out for you all the time, making sure nobody bullied you, that trouble never entered your life and France never hounded you for a date. She made you lunches so you never went hungry when work began to pile up, she made sure you got enough sleep and took care of yourself. Venting her maternal instincts onto you, not that you minded it of course. You loved how caring she was in her own way, wanting to make sure you were happy. But that did not necessarily make you special out of anyone else. 

Natalya took many relationships to better her political situation for her bosses, though she did have her favourites deep down. Though over time she had indeed developed personal attachments to many of them due to having developed personal bonds with them. Though you had selfishly believed that you were the person who knew her best of all, who she would ultimately choose in the end. But now you were starting to see how wrong and blind you had been. Like she would ever look at someone like you, how could she? When there were so many people who were better for her. 

There were many people out of a chosen circle who could make her happy, fulfilling her dreams of becoming a bride. She had a long term obsession with her older brother Ivan, whom had also started to look at you as an adopted sister due to how close you were to Natalya. She was close friends with Lithuania and Poland, though Liet's feelings for her had long been unrequited, but you saw the way his eyes lit up whenever she was around. America flirted nearly every chance he got whenever she was around, which you hated. Seeing him winking and playfully asking her to hang out made you feel sick inside. Alfred's oblivious nature made it so that he had no idea of how much his actions were hurting you. How much you hated the idea of him taking her away from you. But part of you knew a suave hero like him could charm the pants off of Belarus. What girl would ever turn down a hero who would promise to protect her? His own adopted brother England had become close to her too, though his kindness to you made it hard to hold a grudge. England was the one rival you couldn't hate.

You felt your eyes stinging and curled tighter into a ball, gripping your pillow for comfort. Who were you fooling? There was no way you stood a chance with Natalya, no matter how much you loved her. You needed to do the right thing and forget all about her, move on and find someone new. There were plenty of girls out there whom would happily love you wasn't there? You wrapped the blankets tighter around you, your vision blurry as hot tears spilled down your cheeks and started to soak your pillow.

* * *

Natalya had always been a rational person, she knew not to overthink a situation and how to consider every option before allowing fear to cloud her judgement. But as of late, her heart was full of a complex storm of emotions that began to cloud her judgement, someone closest to her. Someone dear had shut her out of their lives for no reason that she could fathom, she had never treated this person badly or made any attempt to hurt them. (Y/N) her best friend and confidant, had blocked her on all forms of social media out of nowhere. Pushing her out of her life and leaving her stranded on an island of self doubt and confusion. Having been off the grid completely and trying to hide successfully from the prying eyes of the world around her. But no matter how much she tried to contact you, you were out of reach and it was beginning to scare her.

She was making small mistakes at work, she wasn't sleeping as well, she didn't have as much as an appetite. She missed eating lunch with you while you enthusiastically described your new personal hobbies. She missed everything about you, how big of an impact you had made on her life. Living without you was now something she could ever picture, but now that she was living in such a situation, it only started to make her feel worse. You were acting very unlike yourself, you had never been this cold to her before. You wouldn't answer her calls no matter how much she tried to hold back yelling down the phone. You had never acted like this towards her before. Your smile, your warmth, how secure she felt around you. You were like sunshine, bright and happy, making her forget that she ever felt lonely. You refused to speak to anyone, not even Ivan or America, making her wonder what had happened to make you so upset.

The two of you had been friends for a long time, you had no secrets between each other, you trusted each other indefinitely. You even told her about your first relationship and how badly your ex had treated you during that time. But you were always so happy in her presence, remembering your smile made her miss you even more. She had always been bad at showing her feelings ever since she was a child. But she did love you, ever so much. You made her smile, which was a talent in itself, accepting her completely despite her infamously scary appearance among other nations. She had finally began to believe that the love she had always craved for was finally within her grasp. 

"Sestra? Are you alright?" Ukraine asked in concern, approaching cautiously to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. She could see something had been bothering Natalya all morning, though Nat had always been the quietest of the three, she would always be here to encourage her to rely on her for support if something was upsetting her. She hated to see her sister so troubled. She would happily stay with her until she was feeling better. 

"She is worried about (Y/N), Da?" Russia explained calmly. He knew other nations had been harassing his sister as of late, on top of that they had been questioning why (Y/N) was so attached to Natalya. He knew that you were very fond of his sister and saw how happy you made each other. Though he had been annoyed at the interference others had been giving to their relationship. Though he had held back as to not upset you in any way, he was considering teaching a few nations a lesson for making you cry. 

"Did you have a fight?" Ukraine panicked, you two had always been so close, rarely ever seen apart from each other. What happened between the two of you to make her sister so unhappy? She would do her best to help rectify the situation. She had already accepted you as a new family member, enjoying your company and kind nature. Maybe she would speak to her instead and she could somehow bring the two together, allowing them to talk. 

Belarus shook her head in sadness, if you had been fighting she would remember it. She would know that the two of you were on bad terms with each other. The two of you had never fought once in your life, she couldn't think of what could be wrong to make you keep your distance from her. Not knowing made her feel even worse. That she had messed up so badly that you couldn't even bring yourself to tell her how she could fix it. 

"Maybe she's jealous is all" America blurted out as he casually sipped his milkshake. He had noticed for a while the hurt look that came across your face when he flirted with Nat. He couldn't think of why you would act that way though, you were best friends. He would never try to get between your relationship, he thought you were awesome. But he couldn't help the fact he found Natalya cute. Maybe one day you would find someone who would make you happy. 

Natalya blinked, suddenly freezing on the spot as she tried to consider this possibility. Why would you be jealous? She had rejected America's feelings multiple times, making it clear she didn't feel the same way. She had been on platonic terms with Lithuania for years, and her allied bond with England was still a very new relationship. So what would you possibly be jealous about? She never ignored you in any way.

France sighed dreamily, these youngsters were too naive to see the bigger picture here. What had caused you to become so upset and push away Belarus out of fear. "Ah, l'amour de juenes" he chuckled. Being the nation of love he could recognise attraction and crushes in a heartbeat, he had been aware for a while that (Y/N) had been crushing on Russia's very pretty little sister. Which is why he backed off out of respect of your feelings. Instead encouraging from the sidelines. 

America spat out his milkshake and stared at France in awe "Woah, (Y/N) has a crush? How come she didn't say anything about it?" he cried in confusion. He wondered who it could be. You could have come to him for help, he loved seeing people get a happy ending with the person they loved. Love was totally awesome like that. Everyone deserved to be with the person who made them the happiest they could be. Like you were living in a fairytale. 

Natalya fell silent, her long hair falling in front of her face. Hanging her head in shame as the reality came crashing down onto her shoulders like a tonne of bricks. Her grip tightening on her phone like a vice, now everything was starting to make sense. Why you had blocked her on social media, why you weren't picking up the phone. She then ran towards the door as fast as her feet would carry her. She needed to see you, she needed to apologize for being so blind. For not seeing how much you were hurting.

Ukraine smiled fondly, trying to stifle her laughter. Though it had taken her a while to put the pieces together, Natalya had finally figured out the truth. How much you loved Natalya and how much you meant to her in return. "Cectpa finally caught on" she chuckled. Though she had grown up since her childhood as a smaller nation, she was still as naive as she had been back then.

Russia smiled too, Ukraine had always been the wisest, given she was the eldest of them all. Of course she would have known of your fondness for Belarus. "Da, hopefully she and (Y/N) will be happy" he agreed. 

* * *

Natalya hammered on your door impatiently, praying you opened the door and finally responded to her. Her breath fast and heavy, feeling her heart racing in her chest. She was desperate for an answer, why you had been avoiding her for so long. She would not allow you to keep up these walls any longer. "(Y/N), open the door, Answer me!" she snapped infuriatingly. She would not allow you to keep running away.

You peaked your head out from your hiding place, unwrapping your protective blanket shield from your body. Padding across the hallway, your eyes still glassy with tears, but now a newfound red puffiness had formed around them. You wondered who was slamming against your front door. You just wanted to be alone in your misery, to sulk about the unrequited love in your heart. You slowly opened your front door to which your eyes widened upon seeing who was stood there. Belarus was standing outside in a panic stricken state, taking you by surprise. You wondered if you were dreaming right now. "Nat?... what?" you babbled. What was she doing here?

Without warning, Belarus lunged at you making you tense in shock. She pulled your body close, wrapping her arms tightly around you in a tight hug. Nearly knocking you over in your doorway, having to stabilize your stance in order to not fall over. She was so glad you were ok, she felt like her heart nearly stopped beating. "(Y/N) thank goodness, my printcessa" she babbled in relief. You weren't hurt and you were still here, she had forgotten how warm your hugs were.

(Y/N) was taken aback by this whole situation, being thrown at her from out of the blue. You could feel Natalya trembling like a leaf against you, she had been seriously worried about you. You felt your heart being squeezed, making you feel really guilty. You had scared her so much without ever meaning to, feeling as though you were going to cry all over again. "Nat..." you trailed off. Unable to find the words you needed to explain your actions. You never meant to hurt her like this, you just didn't want to watch her be happy with someone else.

Natalya pulled away from you, staring at you with steely blue eyes glassy with tears, she looked so relieved to see you but failing at hiding how upset she was. She demanded answers from you and she wasn't going to let you hide away again. "Why did you block me? Why did you shut me out? I was so worried about you" she ranted, her voice wobbling as she nearly broke down into sobs. She didn't care if she made a scene, she wasn't going to hide how much this situation had affected her.

You hesitated, stiffening in her grasp. You felt like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck, nowhere to hide. You felt so guilty having put her through all of this. A mess you made because you acted so childishly out of jealousy. You never once meant to hurt her to the point of breaking down this way, you were just so afraid of being hurt all over again. The thought that she chose someone else that wasn't you. But now you had to face the music. You took a deep breath "I... I was jealous Nat,... you were growing so much. America kept hounding you all the time for dates, and you were getting chummy with England too. It felt... l felt like there was no room for me anymore. I was so scared of being left behind and I didn't want you to see me looking so ugly..." you trailed off.

You could never compare to the strength of America, his heroic nature and ability to say his feelings so honestly without hesitation. That even though he could be a dork sometimes he still had a lot of admiration from others. You never had the magic and natural charm of England, that despite his Tsundere nature he was still able to smoothly win over most people with that accent of his. You couldn't compete with them and you hated to admit that to yourself. But you could at least tell her now "....Because.... I love you so much" you sobbed. It felt so good to finally tell her those three words, the love you had kept locked away was finally being released. The bitterness you had repressed towards America and England was finally taken off your shoulders. The baggage that had been weighing you down was now gone. 

Natalya stared at you, her pain and insecurity now depleting, blowing away like leaves in the wind. Tears starting to spill over from not sadness, but the blissful relief of knowing why you had acted that way. Of course you could never hate her, you were just too kind to ever let her see you acting so selfishly. For once, America had been correct in his assumption, you had been jealous. But she had no idea that you were in love with her all this time. She then once pulled you close to her, pressing your body against her. Burying her nose into your shoulder, she felt like such a moron. She would do things right this time. If she had known that all this time you were jealous of her relations, how the smallest of actions and gestures would make you jealous. She would pay more attention, take your feelings into consideration. Anything to stop you from leaving her like this again. 

She then slowly reached up a hand to cup your cheek, her soft hair brushing your cheek as your foreheads touched. Gazing solemnly into your eyes with silent desire, feeling your cheeks burning at the intimate contact. This felt like a scene out of a mushy rom com or an old fashioned novel. But you were secretly loving every second of it. "Ja usim sercam kachaju ciabie" she whispered softly. 

(Y/N) felt her cheeks heat, aware your face was probably the colour of a strawberry by now. You could tell Nat was being sincere, the softness of her voice, the gentle touch of her hand and how she gripped you as if you may shatter like glass if she let go. But knowing she had loved you too all this time, you were still rather shaken by all of this. You felt a soft giggle escape your lips, erupting into intense laughter, tears of joy spilling over. You felt like such an idiot, worrying over something so trivial. Before she could worry herself all over again, you smiled at her in reassurance "I love you too Nat" you sobbed happily. 

In a heartbeat, Natalya began to smother your face in endless butterfly kisses. Touching every inch of the skin on your face she could find. Trying to chase away the falling tears and make you so happy you forgot your sadness. Refusing to let you go, the girl she loved so much was now back in her arms after what felt like an eternity. She wouldn't be relieved until you stopped crying. 

* * *

**Ja usim sercam kachaju ciabie-I love you with all of my heart**

**l'amour de juenes-Ah young love**


	3. Bad taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew Jessie Jones was the worst kind of trouble, the addictive kind that was bad for you and you knew it. Falling to the lowest you could possibly reach, but you still want her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2p Nyo America

(Y/N) hunched over sulkily, hugging your knees under your chin as you stared into the oblivion as endless thoughts whirled around in your mind. Wondering if you just loved screwing yourself over by falling for girls who were just bad for you. Of all the girls you could have chosen, you fell for her? Just what were you thinking? God you were so pathetic it was laughable. You had developed a crush on Jessie Jones, the infamous bad girl in your (School/workplace/College) whom had a reputation amongst your peers. God, you really had the worst choice in women and it was becoming an issue. You had been drawn to the sweet pretty girls who were kind and giving, the kind who would never disappoint you with their selfless acts and desire to make you happy. But you seemed to always run after the mischievous troublemakers who always tended to drag you into drama and ended up making you feel like shit afterwards. Like you enjoyed being treated like crap or falling for the girls who enjoyed messing with you until you gave up because things became too toxic. Maybe you should have considered therapy as an option instead. 

She was the 2p version of Amelia, a stunning brunette with lightly tanned skin, known for her short temper and lack of a filter when it came to speaking her mind. Good at picking fights and speaking her mind without a care in the world. She flirted with any pretty face that came to her fancy, constantly arguing with authority figures who tried to tell her what to do. She was known for getting into fights with other (Classmates/colleagues), she hated being insulted by others and hating losing arguments even more. Her moods were nearly impossible to predict, never knowing what side of her you would come across. Pretty much a rebel with an attitude problem. Her sister Maddie who ways also a tomboy with a sharp temper, was somewhat more approachable. She just wasn't a very sociable person and preferred isolation and a minor friend group. Though she had a soft spot for animals and sweet things. But she was more than capable of holding her own in a fight and keeping her sister out of trouble, at least some of the time. 

You just tried to avoid her at all costs, in hopes of not getting on her bad side despite having had some contact with her in the past. Unwilling work companions/lesson partner in which you had to work together on a project. Despite her reputation as a bitch she was smarter than she looked, she just hated the effort that had to be put in. Because of that you just got fed up with her company and found her too energy draining. Recently, you had noticed that she had been checking you out around (work/school/college), though at first you thought she had just been messing with you or you imagined it. But no, she had indeed been winking at you whenever you caught her eye, perving over your figure like a hungry animal. Honestly. you didn't know what to make of it whatsoever. I mean she had a reputation as a flirt and a womanizer, so she was probably just bored and saw you as another potential target in all this. No matter your feelings towards her, you refused to play into her mind game. You wouldn't become another hookup she could brag about around school, giving you a reputation amongst everyone else. You would never let yourself fall lower than you already had, you had some pride at least, you would be strong.

* * *

You gazed silently at the sky, feeling a sense of peacefulness wash over your soul, gazing at the simplicity of wispy cotton clouds pass by through an endless sky of blue. This was your happy place and somewhere you could go for headspace when things got too much for you to handle. Enjoying a (favourite alcoholic drink/cigarette) until you unwillingly would have to return, so you were taking your sweet time. You deserved some time to indulge in self pity and hate yourself for putting yourself through this, wishing you could just develop a crush on a nice normal girl instead. Instead of feeling judged because you fell for the bad girl. "Fuck I've fallen into deep shit haven't I?" you mumbled in frustration. You could at least numb out your feelings like everyone else on the planet until things seemed to be better. You could have chosen any woman in this place and all people you had to go for her. You felt so utterly stupid laughing at yourself was a good option.

Balancing your conscience with what options you had to deal with this conundrum. What was the best way to deal with your feelings and how to do so in a way that didn't end in self destruction and making an ass of yourself. While enjoying your state of self reflection, you overheard a noise coming from nearby. Abruptly panicking that it could be your (Boss/teacher) coming out for a break until they had to return too. It sounded like scuffling and muffled swearing, any sort of scenario could be happening and you didn't want to be caught in the middle of it. You just wanted to enjoy your own company for a brief time and avoid people. You really hoped it wasn't nosy classmates or a teacher. You didn't want them seeing you in this depressed state.

You had done a good job of keeping to yourself unless necessary all this time, if you were caught on break doing this you would be in trouble. Your teacher/boss calling you out on your behaviour leading to public embarrassment and rumours. That was something you planned on avoiding at all costs. Muttering under your breath you (stubbed out cigarette/threw away bottle) into a discarded corner where nobody would find it. Patting yourself down and sneaking off in the direction of the sound, trying to be as quiet as possible so you wouldn't be caught out. Biting your lip you peered around the corner silently, holding your breath so you wouldn't make a sound. Hoping you wouldn't be scarred for life by whatever you came across. Your eyes widened in shock as your gaze fell upon the very girl you had been trying to forget about. From what you could make out, she was scattered with injuries, bruises, a split lip and bleeding from a few areas. She had obviously been beaten up by someone. A few (Classmates/work colleagues) hanging around her with scorned expressions.

"You're trash Jessie Jones, this place is better off without you" one of the girls yelled bitterly. From what you could tell they were both female, but you hadn't really seen them around before, preferring to keep to yourself. Wondering what she had done this time to incur the wrath of another scorned human being. Honestly the list of trouble she could have caused was endless and you really didn't want to ask. It was her business and you were already being rather nosy. 

"You're lower than a dog, you bitch!" the other agreed mockingly. The two of them glaring her down before storming off furiously in unison, leaving Jessie to tend to herself. From what you could make out from your hiding place, she had a red punch mark on her face which was slowly starting to well up. Bruises and cuts littering her tanned skin, some blood starting to spill from them. She looked a total mess, her clothes tattered and blood starting to cover her. It would be a good idea to leave her and pretend you hadn't seen a thing, but you didn't have the heart to abandon someone in need. You could maybe sneak her into the nurses office, leave her to patch herself up and be on your merry way. One good samaritan deed done and you could go about your own business like nothing had happened. She didn't have to think anything of it. However, your attempt at being sneaky had failed miserably. 

"I can hear you Y'know, so just come out already" Jessie warned in a threatening tone, she may have just gotten her ass kicked but she was capable of holding her on in a fight. She just hadn't been in the mood to deal with those girls. Was this someone filming her moment of disgrace? A teacher/her boss coming to harass her in her moment of humiliation? God knows she didn't care she just wanted to be left alone in her shame and crappy mood. If she had to blackmail someone to keep them quiet so be it, there were worse things. 

You hesitated, not wanting to get on her bad side considering what had just happened. I mean you could run but she would try and find out who it was which would put you in trouble. You had just wanted some peace and quiet for crying out loud. Eventually you bravely walked out, a wary expression on your face, ready to run if need be. You could at least hold your own somewhat "Yo, you look like shit Jones" you replied bluntly. You were surprised at your own courage, but it had been a long day and you really weren't in the mood. So if she didn't like the tone of your voice she could get lost. 

Jessie laughed under her breath, not expecting that sort of thing from you. She hadn't seen you act this cocky before, she was rather impressed. Who knew Miss Wallflower was capable of being so short tempered, it was kind of hot. "Yo, got a smoke? I'm all out" she asked playfully. She had hoped of coming out here for a quiet one before returning, only she had been followed and the girls pounced on her as soon as she was alone. So her chance of peace and quiet had gone out the window and led to a fight instead. Today just wasn't her day. 

Sighing, you grabbed your packet from your pocket and tossed it at her. I mean you could always buy more, it wasn't any sweat off your back. She winked at you playfully as she lit one up and took a deep puff, breathing a sigh of relief as the taste of nicotine hit her tongue. You lingered nearby shyly, opting to lean against a wall nearby her not knowing what else to do. Staring at the ground in silence, you didn't want to make eye contact with her, making your slowly growing blush more apparent to her. Though deep down you were screaming at the chance to spend time with her, despite your minor self hatred on doing so.

Jessie peered at you curiously, brushing some of her bangs out of her face, from what she could recollect she had seen you around campus/the office. Though you were known for being friendly albeit awkward, you had seemingly been avoiding her lately despite you never having spoken to her until now. Wondering what she could have done to get under your skin so much, you never seemed to give a shit before. Yes, she was known for getting on people's bad side, but she had never gone out of her way to cause you any trouble whatsoever. But she had to admit, you looked so cute with your face so flushed, resembling a strawberry or something. Hiding behind your hair, desperately trying not to look at her. She took a deep sigh, slowly getting to her feet as pain shot through her like a hot knife. She still ached from the fight but it wasn't a pain she wasn't familiar with, this was nothing. She then approached you in silence, replacing herself beside you instead, making you jump in surprise at her presence.

The scent of blood, dirt and cigarette smoke wafted up your nose like a warped perfume, biting your lip and trying to block it out of your mind. Despite being roughed up, she was still painfully sexy and you hated it. Why did you always fall for the bad girl rebels who were destined to break your heart? "Hey, you got a boyfriend or somethin?" she asked impatiently. Maybe she was reading your body language wrong, perhaps you just pitied her and wanted to be friends. But she got the feeling it was more than that, and she always listened to her gut. She had been interested in you for a long time but kept her distance, yet here you were approaching her out of the blue. 

You felt your cheeks heat, your stomach in knots, she was painfully perceptive and it annoyed the hell out of you. She was so blunt there was no way around it, I mean you got confessions from people rather regularly, but from people you had no interest in. "N...No...I don't" you babbled awkwardly. Jesus what else was she going to ask you? Yes it was true you hadn't had a date in a while but there were plenty of single people on your course/in your workplace, it wasn't uncommon for crying out loud. She was probably just making fun of you out of boredom after what had happened. 

Jessie hummed under her breath, recollecting this newfound information. A playful smile forming on her face, this meant she was free to make a move on you. She then turned to face you, pinning one of your arms to the wall blocking you in, your faces now inches apart from each other. You could feel her breath from here, your heart skipping a beat, swallowing anxiously. Her lightly tanned skin, her reddish brown eyes gazing at you predatorily. Her perfectly soft yet slightly split lip, you just couldn't stop staring at her. Just what was she going to do to you? "Guess I don't have to hold back then" she huffed bluntly. She had wanted to do this for a long time but held back when she saw all the confessions you were getting and assumed you must have accepted one.

Before you could respond to her, she slammed her lips against your own, the taste of blood hitting your tongue. Gripping your hand harder against the wall, refusing to let you get away from her. You panted breathlessly as you fought for air against her aggressive passion, you had never been kissed like this by anyone in your life. You could feel your legs opening subconsciously, your body calling out to her touch. You felt so confused, you were supposed to hate her, avoid girls like her, yet you had wanted her for so long and now you finally had her. Was this a dream or just a big mess? 

She pulled away abruptly, panting herself somewhat from the kiss, licking her lips as she stared you down. Her eyes gleaming with desire, she wanted nothing more than to continue, but she was holding herself back. She didn't want to scare you off, but god damn it did you look edible right now. Your cute face all flustered from her kiss. All of the girls around who threw themselves at her, pining for her attention were so boring, just wanting to show off. Some of them just wanted to get back at their exes and didn't really care about her. Yes, she was so angel herself but she had feelings, people just tended to forget that a lot of the time. "Damn doll, you're sweeter than honey" she chuckled breathlessly. She could eat you all up, she had never tasted anyone so sweet before. She couldn't wait to get her hands on you for real.

Snapping out of your haze, you felt the colour drain from your face and averted your gaze stubbornly. Fighting against your own shame and embarrassment, you refused to be mistaken for being easy. You just had a really bad crush on her was all. Suddenly, you felt her pressing against you again, panicking that she was going to try and kiss you again. Instead her lips lingered against your neck, making you shudder at the contact, her lips brushing against your skin. Then without warning, you felt her teeth pressing into your skin, yelping in pain as she sank her teeth in, leaving a bite mark on your neck. Whining at the contact, tears welling up in your eyes, gripping her back for comfort with your free hand. The sweet feeling of pain and pleasure running through you.

She lingered her lips against your neck, kissing the sore spot where she had left her mark. Pulling away to look you in the eye, instantly grabbing your neck as a response, aware she had left a hickey on you. You didn't know what to say, were you happy or embarrassed, god you had no idea. Jessie smirked at your reaction, aware that was probably your first time experiencing such a feeling. But now it wouldn't fade anytime soon and people would know to back off. "Mine now doll-face, that mark proves it. So don't try and run from me again, got it?" she warned. Nobody else was allowed to touch you now.

Your mouth hung open in awe, no words were able to form from your lips, like you had lost all function to speak. Had... had she just confessed to you just now? So you didn't have to embarrass yourself with your own attempt? But at least now with all your internal shame and debate, your feelings had been mutual from the start. But you got the feeling that life was going to be a lot more interesting after all this. You simply nodded quietly, the weight of the situation now starting to kick in like a punch in the gut. 


End file.
